i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
