38 yer olds are good kisserssss
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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