we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
