I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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