Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
