What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
