Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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