Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
