Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
