I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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