I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
