Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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