Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
