I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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