Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
50% drunk capacity currently
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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