I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'm bleeding and have questions
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
