He kissed a someone with a penis
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
