I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
