Why is your signature on my underwear?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Randomize
