it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
