I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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