it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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