I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
