Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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