we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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