and she was petting her beer can
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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