I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
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