He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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