I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
