so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
