i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
My orgasm happened in two different decades
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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