I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
