How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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