I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
