Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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