whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
