Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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