Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
