And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
