I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
