She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
