Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Randomize
