Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
