what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
