420 ftw
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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