batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
