piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
