D3 body, D1 cock
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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