sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
