He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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