Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
