I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just pee around me
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
