is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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